Month: February 2020

2:00 PM – Mom has apparently been quiet enough to let me sleep today, either that I was tired enough to sleep through it. What woke me up was notices from the security cameras. Reviewing the footage shows that she walked over to the neighbor’s house again. There are no cars in the driveway, so she must have figured they weren’t home because she came right back. She was holding a certificate of honor from 2011 from one of the charities that she used to donate to occasionally. She is currently in the kitchen talking quietly to herself. I wasn’t quite ready to be up yet, but at least I don’t have to work until Wednesday night.

4:10 PM – Mom has been surprisingly quiet. She was out in the kitchen slicing up the rest of the apples and putting them into a bowl (including the cores that she cut out.. lol) and the whole time she was out there, I didn’t even hear a whisper. Of course, since she cut them up, they’re going to turn brown quickly, but oh well, it kept her busy with something I guess. Did I mention that she also seems to be eating again? At times I think she’s trying to make up for when she wasn’t eating, but I’m not going to say anything since at least she’s eating! I don’t know if the medication is making her feel hungry again or if it was the threats to move her downstairs if she didn’t eat. She’s also been walking with a bounce, like she’s dance/walking or something. Kinda odd, but at least she’s not talking to her invisible friends… at the moment. This could turn out to be a fairly good day if things don’t change later tonight. Keeping my fingers crossed.

4:40 PM – Well, I spoke too soon I guess. I was hearing banging on the floor upstairs and went up to see what it was. Mom was sitting and watching TV with her headphones on and she looked over and said, “Someone keeps staying ‘aww Sandy, come on.'” She then asked, “You didn’t hear that? … Crazy.” I agreed that she was crazy. I came back down to type this and as I was writing, she started banging on the floor again. I went upstairs again and as I got to the door, I heard her say, “This is my house, not yours (inaudible what else she said.)” She asked me the same thing. So, I took her headphones away from her and came back down to write again. A few minutes later, more pounding. I got some video of it, but there’s a lot of long gaps where she doesn’t say anything. For the most part, she just keeps saying, “Accept the fact that you’re dead….” At the end, I told her to go down and get something to eat so she could take her pill. She’s out in the kitchen, still telling the dead person that it’s her house. I went out there at one point to take my meds and she asked me if I heard them. I just shook my head no. While waiting for the video to transfer from my phone, I heard, “I didn’t kill you. You did it to yourself. Accept the fact that you’re dead and get out of my house.” Anyway, here’s the video:

5:30 PM – She came out to the living room and asked me if I was pissed at her. I told her, “No, but I am curious as to why dead people are talking to you. I guess they don’t like to talk to me because I don’t hear anything.” She said, “They just keep saying ‘Sandy.. Sandy.. Why don’t you talk to me..?'” She’s getting pissed about it.. doors shutting hard, toilet seat getting dropped etc. It seems it might be a long night, unless this pill that I’m about to give her helps tonight.

8:45 AM – I woke up to use the bathroom and while in there, a door slammed upstairs. Oh goody. I was afraid it was going to be a dull day where nothing would happen and I would get plenty of sleep for work tonight. Well, Mom came downstairs and as soon as she seen me in the kitchen, she stopped and held her stomach, then really slowly walked over to her chair and sat down. She ignored me when I asked what was up, so I finished what I was doing in the kitchen and sat down to write this. She walked by and went upstairs, not saying a word. I don’t know why she came down, unless she thought she was going to throw up or something.

11:05 AM – I got woke up to Mom trying to use the runner for the first time in a few years. I asked her why she would decide to do it NOW while I’m trying to sleep and she replied that she does it all the time while I’m sleeping. Funny, I’m a light enough sleeper that she wakes me up when she’s whispering in another room! I’ve had stuff packed around the flywheel for ages because it never gets used. The wheel was grinding on the stuff when she tried it this morning. Anyway, voices were raised and she did the “This is my house…” crap. Evidently she forgot signing it over. So yeah, once again it seems like she’s just trying to get under my skin or make me as crazy as she is.

1:35 PM – I finally feel like I got enough sleep! It’s been pretty quiet as far as talking goes (it’s quiet right now.)

2:13 PM – I guess she was only quiet because she was up in her room, sitting on her bed and chatting quietly. I went up to let her know I was up for the day/night and she could use the runner without disturbing me. She came down and went into the kitchen to make something to eat and has been chatting away.

2:45 PM – Just had a shouting match with Mom. She went upstairs and slammed a door… again. I went up to see what was going on in her head this time and I got, “I don’t even want to look at you, get out of my room!” Oh boy, here we go. I stood my ground and said, “NO! I’m not going anywhere until you tell me what’s going on. I will not stand for this crap anymore!” This went on a few more times and finally she said, “You killed your Dad!” WHAT? GRRRRR!!! I asked her, “Why in the hell would I kill my Dad?” She replied, “You’ll have to talk to the police about that.” She was messing with her purse at this point like she was going to take off or something. I moved to take the purse away from her so she would listen to me and she started getting violent on me trying to kick at me. I yelled at her, “All right, it’s time for you to move into a nursing home!” She said, “You can’t do that, it’s my house, you leave!” I let her know, “I assure you, I CAN do that. When you have voices tell you that I killed my own Dad, those voices are getting dangerous and I can and will put you in a nursing home. Is that what you want?” She shook her head no. I continued, “If that’s the case, this needs to stop. If these types of accusations continue, you WILL be moved into a nursing home. Do you understand?” She nodded and I left the room. Yeah, it’s coming soon… really soon at this rate. *Update: I went upstairs to check on her after writing this post and she was laying down, eyes closed. The adrenaline rush must have knocked her out when she came down from it.

5:10 PM – I’m trying something else now. I went upstairs to check on Mom and heard her through the door telling someone that I killed Jerry Feester because he had a beautiful singing voice and I didn’t (not that she would know.) I went in and sat down to talk to her. I gave her the power to get rid of the voices using her beliefs in her god and Jesus. I told her that it’s in the bible to ask in the name of Jesus and he will do it. I told her that when she’s hearing these voices that are saying that I killed someone, they are lying and not to be trusted and that she should tell them, “In the name of Jesus Christ, I command you to leave me alone.” Yeah, I don’t believe it, but if it works for her, then great. I let her know that we need to get a handle on this if she doesn’t want to move into a nursing home. There will be no other choice. I can’t be dealing with wondering if she’s going to wander off and tell the neighbors that I killed someone while I’m at work. I need the concentration to do my job safely. Pulling around up to 80,000 pounds of trailer distracted can be very dangerous.

*Update 5:40 PM – I went up to drill that command into her head a few more times. I made her repeat after me, “In the name of Jesus Christ, I command you to leave me alone.” She repeated it with me and seemed to physically relax, then she said, “I didn’t think you believed in that.” I replied, “I don’t, but if it works for you, then it’s a good thing.” She then said that she’s been saying that, so I gave her a pat on the arm and said, “keep it up, maybe it’ll start helping.” I don’t have high hopes since it is something that’s caused by Alzheimer’s and not demons or ghosts (medicine has come a long way since the days of demon possession for any kind of ailment,) but I guess it’s worth a shot.

1:45 PM – I heard Mom talking upstairs and went up about half-way to see what I could hear. I thought I heard something about an evil voice and then heard, “That’s not true. She’s just trying to… (inaudible)” She then stood up, so I went up the rest of the way and asked her if everything was OK, that I heard her talking to someone. She said that she was just watching TV, so maybe she was hearing someone talking to her through the headphones again. She asked if I needed anything. I told her, “No, I was just checking on you since I heard you talking.” She just smiled and sat back down, content that I cared enough to make sure she was alright. I think the medication might be helping a little bit so far. I haven’t heard her talking when she comes downstairs and only heard her this time because the landing door was open and the landing acts like an echo chamber. It was quieter than it has been when she’s been talking to her invisible people.

2:05 PM – I guess we’re on a roll now! She came downstairs while I was in the kitchen and said, “Someone said they wanted to show me something down here. You didn’t hear anything?” I told her, “No. I’m out here quietly making a cup of coffee.” She shook her head, then said, “That sounds good. I’ll have a cup, too.”

2:20 PM – She tried to hand me the headphones and said, “The neighbors wanted to talk to you.” I told her those are for the TV, the neighbors can’t talk to me through those. She said, “They said something about finding 5 more pythons.” I tried to tell her that it’s too cold for pythons and she said, “That’s what I thought, too, but I’ve seen them and they’re big.” So, we’re back to pythons. Yay! She went back upstairs and I went up shortly after and tried again to convince her that there are no pythons. She’s insisting that she’s seen them slithering in the bushes and that the neighbors have told her they’ve seen them, too. I told her that it’s odd that they haven’t said anything about it to me since I live here as well. She said, “You don’t want to believe me, I don’t give a shit. All you’ve gotta do is go talk to the neighbors.” I can’t figure out why she’s so fixated on pythons. These false memories, like the neighbor’s told me this or that, is maddening! I swear she’s trying to make me as crazy as she is…. on purpose! lol

3:50 PM – Mom has gone out to the garage 2 times so far. This time I caught her out there and asked her what was going on. She said, “Someone told me they had some python meat they were going to share with us. They said they were going to put it in the little freezer I’ve got out there, but it doesn’t hold very much.” Umm, yeah. No freezer out there, just my cooler. She’s chatting again in the kitchen. I got told, “The neighbors wanted you to come over so you can see how they are cutting up the python meat.” I tried to tell her that all their cars are gone… there’s no one home. That didn’t matter to her. I asked her if that meant there were no more pythons and she said, “I just saw one out there (pointing out the window) earlier today.” Well alrighty then. *update* As I was writing the last couple of sentences, she walked outside and was heading over to the neighbor’s. I don’t think she made it to the door… she was already heading back when I went out to get her. This is getting old REALLY fast.

4:50 PM – I sat on the stairs listening to Mom having conversations with her invisible friends… until she was talking about me. She said, “If he’s killed someone again (again??), then maybe it’s time for him to be put to death.” I got up and confronted her right then. She then claimed that she didn’t say that. I told her that with threats like that, that maybe it’s time for her to move into a nursing home now. She again claimed that she didn’t say that. I came downstairs to write this and I can hear her talking again, so will go up on the stairs and listen in. I’d grab the phone, but I don’t think it would pick it up where she’s at and where I can sit and be unseen.

6:30 PM – I captured some video about an hour ago. It’s taken that long to transfer it from my phone to the computer and encode them to a smaller size. Anyway, If you don’t want to watch them, Mom is mostly going on about me. Apparently I’m on my way to work and I’m running from the cops. The shocking part is that I’m evidently a cop, too. I guess I’m in trouble for flipping her off. Yeah, I’m not proud of it, but it did happen once with the “I don’t wanna argue” crap. I didn’t hear anything about me being put to death this time. She also mentioned the pythons briefly and Jerry Feester was mentioned a few times. Jerilyn, your name was mentioned, well, almost. She called ya Geraldine this time. Anyway, you’ll probably have to turn your volume up to hear the first video and you will hear traffic go by. Here are the videos:

After the last video, she went downstairs to fix her supper, then went back upstairs where she’s been talking almost non-stop while I’ve been working on these videos.

10:15 PM – The conversations haven’t stopped. She’s been up and down the stairs about 3 times in the last hour. She will go to the bathroom and come out talking to someone. It seems like you’d want your friends to wait outside the bathroom while you do your business, but apparently not in her case. They just follow her right in apparently. I’ve got to work tomorrow night, so hopefully things are calm tomorrow.

12:30 AM – Mom came down to use the bathroom. When she came out, I heard her talking quietly to herself. She went to go upstairs and was quiet when she walked through the living room and going up the stairs, then she stood at the top of the stairs and chatted quietly. The Dr. did say that it may take a couple of weeks for it to fully take effect, but it’d be awesome if it started working quicker than that. At least it was a quiet talking this time. If I had been asleep, it might not have woke me up.

9:50 AM – Well, I haven’t heard Mom talking to herself yet today. She’s been up and down stairs a bunch of times and while we were talking, at one point she asked if I knew anything about Jerry Feester. I told her that I haven’t been able to find anything about him and she replied that maybe he was dead then. Just a minute ago, she came about half-way down the stairs and asked me if I had any negatives about her. I replied, “No. Why?” She said, “Someone up there is messing with my mind and trying to get me to doubt you.” Well, I guess at least I’m not murdering anyone at the moment.. lol. So, maybe she is still carrying on conversations, I just haven’t heard her while she’s been downstairs. I went up to see what she was doing and she was sitting quietly watching TV. I sat down on the chair with her to see what was on, I think it was Paranormal State (one of those Ghost Hunter type shows.) We chatted for a minute about the show and I said, “I was just curious what was on TV.”

Just as a side note: I’ve had people at work suggest that maybe she’s seeing/talking to ghosts and that’s why I can’t see them. For 1, I don’t believe in ghosts (though the ghost hunter shows are entertaining) and 2, in the first video that I captured on January 19th, Mom is seeing us boys murdering or cutting up our elders. I can’t speak for my other brothers, but to my knowledge, I’m very much alive. That pretty much blows that hypothesis out of the water. Her brain is somehow scrambling memories (us boys) with perhaps a TV show, movie or a nightmare and causing a different show to play in her head that becomes very real to her. It’s got to be pretty scary and stressful for her. Since things have been quieter for her so far today, it’s got me hopeful that the new medication may actually help her.

11:08 AM – Mom just come downstairs on high and told me, “Don’t mess with anyone that comes to the door for me.” Huh? I asked her why I would and she just said that she didn’t know, but don’t do it. Going upstairs to see if I can figure out what’s going on. *update 11:25 PM* We chatted calmly for a while. She mentioned Jerry Feester a couple of times. I told her that I’m really not an asshole. Yes, I get frustrated and might say “stupid bitch,” sometimes, but I’m really not calling her a stupid bitch, I’m lashing out at the Alzheimer’s because of how much of a pain in the ass it can be. She seemed to understand that. She said that someone told her that they had tried to visit her and that I had sent them away. When I asked her who told her that, I got the “I don’t want to argue.” Instead of letting that get to me this time, I calmly said that I’m not arguing and that if we don’t talk it out, I can’t help her. She finally told me that someone told her that in the headphones for the TV (Paranormal State was on.. Travel Channel must be running a marathon or something.) I assured her that if someone did come to the door looking for her, I would not send them away. We came to the conclusion that maybe she misunderstood something that they were saying on the TV and she seemed to be OK after that. This approach seems to be working a lot better.

8:10 AM – I got woken up to some banging that I initially thought was coming from outside (I have a package coming today, so it was plausible.) Right after that, an upstairs door slammed and Mom came down on high and went out to the kitchen. I went out there to find out what was going on and she held a hand up and said, “I don’t even want to look at you.” I was NOT going to let that go, so I kept pressuring her to tell me what was going on. Apparently, someone is messing with her head and banging on things. I figured that probably means she has a headache and gave her 2 Tylenol. She did fix a bowl of cereal on her own, so at least she’s eating. She’s still got a pissed off look on her face, though. She’s going to be a fun one in the nursing home if she does stuff like that thinking that other residents are banging on things.

11:15 AM – Wow, she must have her appetite back or something. She’s fixing a bowl of cereal again. I had suggested that she take a shower and that I’d turn up the heat for her, she went upstairs to get some clothes and was up there for about 5 minutes, came back down with nothing, went to the bathroom, then got her bowl out. I’ll have to try the suggestion of the shower again after she’s done eating. She doesn’t stink or anything, but you can see it in her hair that it needs washed. I went out to the kitchen to check on her because I heard her say something and she had her hands on the counter, leaning forward looking like she was going to cry. I asked her what was wrong and she just shook her head. I hear her pouring her milk now, so it must have passed, whatever it was.

12:12 AM – I keep hearing whispering out in the kitchen and occasionally it’s a little louder than that. I walked out to try to catch what she was going on about, but she stopped before I got out there. I suggested her taking a shower again, but she said that she had already washed up. I’m not sure when she did that, but fine, I’m not going to pressure her on it this time.

12:39 AM – That was odd. I got out of the shower as Mom was walking downstairs. I stood in the kitchen waiting for her to walk by. As she did, she wouldn’t look at me and walked by like a zombie. I asked her what was going on and she asked, “Who did you kill a while back?” WHAT? I told her that I’ve never hurt anyone, let alone kill anyone. She replied, “Jerry Feester and I were trying to get married and someone killed him.” Umm, for the record, to my knowledge, Jerry was never interested in Mom in that way. She tended bar with him, but as far as I know, that’s as far as it ever went. She also said that he was a police officer. That’s news to me as well since I’ve only known him as a bar tender. She said something about all these painful memories and I let her know that hopefully the Doctor can help today. I mean, this is scary! What happens if she runs over to the neighbors and tells them to call that police because I murdered someone?

1:40 PM – I went out to the kitchen to make a cup of coffee and when I opened the refrigerator door to get my milk, everything on the bottom shelf of the door fell on the floor, along with the bar that holds the stuff in. It’s evident that the door was slammed and I think it might have been when Mom fixed her second bowl of cereal. That was when she was leaning on the counter (see the 11:15 AM note.) She just seems really pissed about something today. As I was writing this, she walked by to go upstairs with a pissed look and wouldn’t look over my way. When she got to the top of the stairs, she started talking to her invisible people again. I was able to hear her say, “You might have to wait until night time when they have to work.” I tried to get it out of her what’s going on and after several attempts, finally I got: “Someone’s trying to hurt somebody that means something to me.” So, it appears that she’s not coming out of the hallucinations this time. Great.

6:35 PM – Mom was out in the kitchen yet again talking to invisible people. I managed to catch her saying, “I hate you. You killed an officer.” She noticed me standing at the doorway and started crying. I ignored it and got some ice cream and she said, “No, I can’t forgive you.” I turned around and told her that no one was murdered and to go up and watch some TV for a while and relax. I gave her one of her pills a little while ago, so hopefully that will help her calm down and sleep tonight.

8:00 AM – Well, evidently Mom must not have slept last night. It’s already going on and I just got home. I can’t hear what she’s saying at the moment, but it sounds like she’s talking up a storm. Looks like I’ll end up having to call into work tonight since it’s unlikely she’s not going to let me sleep today. *Sigh*

1:20 PM – After being awoken for the 3rd or 10th time, I finally went out to the kitchen and told Mom, “If you’re going to talk, would you go up to your room? I have to work tonight and you keep waking me up!” She went up there. It’s not going to keep her from talking to herself, but maybe I can get at least a couple of hours of sleep, or at least until she forgets why she’s upstairs.

1:45 PM – She’s back out in the kitchen talking to her invisible friends again. That didn’t last long. She just named off all four of us boys. She’s trying hard not to forget our names or something. After about 10 minutes of her going on about Jerry: “I want Jerry Feester. I have a right to my friends. Jerry Feester’s the only one I seem to be able to trust.” I finally gave up and decided that’s probably all the sleep I’m going to be allowed to have today. I told her that I don’t have Jerry’s number, gave her a couple of Tylenol and told her to eat some chicken. I’m also getting ready to call the Doctor to make an appointment. Something’s gotta give.

2:10 PM – I just got of the phone with one of the nurses at the Doctor’s office and she is going to get in touch with our Doctor to see what she thinks the best plan of action should be and then call me back. I don’t know if there’s a medication Mom can be put on that might help or what. *Update: She has an appointment tomorrow at 3:00.

3:00 PM – I captured some video for today. Just a couple of short clips this time. This went on until about 3:30 when she finally got up and went upstairs.

4:30 PM – Mom is upstairs, but it seemed really quiet, so I went up to see if maybe she laid down or something. Nope. She was up there carrying on a quiet conversation with another invisible friend. I am so tired, but I’m going to go to work. Maybe my boss will let me leave at 1:00 AM and I can get a little sleep before our appointment tomorrow.

10:50 PM – I was at work tonight and at 9:35 PM, I got alarms from 2 of my security cameras. I opened up gmail to see what was going on and it showed Mom at the back door, then the mailbox camera caught her. I checked the footage from the camera and this is what I seen:

It’s a little hard to see, but right at the end of the clip before the camera stopped recording, you see her turn right. I panicked thinking that Mom decided to walk to CVS or something and knew that she would get lost if that were the case. I showed my boss the video and he was like “Go. Get out of here!” Right before I left work, I called the police department and it turns out that my next door neighbor had called them and let them know that Mom had shown up at their door and apparently was really confused. I let the dispatcher know that I was on my way home and she told me that the officer would get her back home and wait until I showed up.

When I got home, I thanked the officer profusely and went in to see what was going on. Mom was up in her room laying in bed, but awake. When I asked what was going on, she said, “Someone told me that you were in an accident.” I assured her that I was fine. She remembered going over to the neighbor’s house asking if they had heard anything about it. Anyway, after about 5 or 10 minutes of talking to her, I managed to convince her that everything was fine and to go downstairs and eat something, even though she kept telling me she wasn’t hungry. I gave her a piece of chicken and an Ensure and asked her to eat that and told her it would make me feel better if I knew she had at least eaten a little bit. She finished that off and I thanked her and let her know she should probably go up to bed and get some sleep for her Doctor’s appointment tomorrow. Hopefully we both can get some sleep. I don’t know about her, but I’m ready to drop.

9:10 AM – Mom came downstairs talking to herself. I asked her who she was talking to and she replied, “I’m talking to Veronica.” I reminded her that it was just to two of us here and she got all defensive and was saying things like, “You’re calling me a liar. She’s right upstairs.” I told her to walk upstairs with me and prove that she was here. We got up there and she looked around and said, “Huh, she took off.” I asked her, “We were standing at the bottom of the stairs. There’s only one way downstairs. How did she get by us without us seeing her?” Then she went on about calling her a liar and that this is her house. An argument ensued and I finally just told her that if she wants to talk to people that aren’t there, have at it. I don’t fucking care at this point. Just leave me the fuck alone. (Sorry, she really got under my skin with this crap this morning.) I might just have to start approaching it differently. Instead of saying it’s only us here, just say something like, “Oh. How is she doing today?” Just play into it. Maybe I’ll start carrying on a conversation with her invisible people, too.

10:45 AM – I heard Mom upstairs talking and as I walked up to listen in, I heard “Shannon was caught taking money out of my purse.” What the hell? This is getting out of hand. I walked in and said “I do not take money out of your purse.” She replied that she never said anything like that. *Jaw Drop* Anyway, it seems like I might not get any sleep today. I got her to come down and take her meds and try to get her to eat something. I just heard her out in the kitchen say, “Talk to him about it.” It was loud enough that if it continues like this throughout the day, it’s going to keep waking me up and I’m already very tired because I didn’t sleep well yesterday. Thanks, Mom.

2:15 PM – *Yawn* I got woke up to Mom sitting out in the kitchen having a conversation with invisible people again. It sounds like she thinks she’s talking to me at some points, then who knows who at others. She said something about Dad apologizing to her for leaving her for Jerilyn. She thinks I tried to kill her and if someone hadn’t checked on her, she’d be dead by now “and you know it!” (She apparently wasn’t talking to me at this time, but it was right after the comment about Dad leaving her for Jerilyn, so it’s all over the place.) Just some out there stuff that’s going through her head. I guess I’m going to have to make an appointment with the doctor and show her the videos and see what she says (the doc). Here’s a funny one: “If it hadn’t been for Sandy’s friend Jerry, I’d be dead by now.” A minute after that, she asked “Where did all those pythons come from?” So, still a fixation on pythons. Anyway, that’s what’s going on right now. I’d capture some video, but I need to try to get some sleep or it’s going to be a rough night at work.

4:30 PM – I give up trying to sleep. She’s been up and down the stairs several times and is in the kitchen having a conversation again. Maybe it’ll be slow enough at work that I can get a nap in the truck for a bit. I’m still pretty sure this is brought on by a lack of sleep. She just look and acts as tired as I am, but she won’t lay down and sleep for some reason. I went out to the kitchen to fix a cup of coffee and as soon as she seen me, she stopped talking. She then got up and walked out to the living room. I was cleaning up and getting ready to walk back out to the living room and heard her say, “Someone is sweeping unnecessarily.” I was walking by the vacuum at the time and pulled it out and showed her that it was not running. She asked me, “You don’t feel that vibration?” I told her no and continued on to the living room. Now she’s in the kitchen talking to herself again. I guess at least no one is getting murdered this time. There’s that. Oh, and a little girl isn’t dropping off her hand.

5:05 PM – Mom is standing at the top of the stairs and she said, “You hear that? Jerry, I don’t want you to die. I count on your friendship.” “He’s my oldest boy, but if he’s hurt somebody, then he’s in the wrong.” I hurt someone? News to me! “He’s got to be stopped. He’s coming up to kill me. That’s what the person said down there.” What the hell is she talking about? OMG. Lunatic! By the way, I was sitting down here reading reviews on a security camera at amazon. I’ve got one on all three doors outside, but having a connection problem sometimes. I wanted something to capture if she walked outside and left the property. They work great for that, but sometimes connecting to them for a live view or to play back video can take quite a few attempts.

12:26 AM – She’s been up and down the stairs about 3 more times since I last posted. This time, I broke down and gave her a sleep aid. Hopefully, that will get her to sleep so she’s not keeping me up all day tomorrow with her hallucinations. I can’t make a habit of missing work or I’ll be without a job really quick.

10:30 AM – Well, I guess the sleep aid didn’t work. Mom was out in the kitchen talking. I walked in and asked her who she was talking to. She replied, “I’m being asked who is here and why.” I gave her an ‘are you out of your mind’ look and she held up her hands and said, “Don’t look at me like that.” I just shook my head and thought ‘Yeah, don’t be crazy and I won’t look at you like that.’ I had also left her meds and a note to eat some cereal in the middle of the counter. She took her meds and ignored the note and went back upstairs.

5:10 PM – I ended up having to go upstairs and tell Mom to come down and fix something to eat so that I know she has had something before I leave for work. I kept setting her soup on the counter and she would just move it off to the side. This time I let her know that if she continued to refuse to eat, I would end up having to move her downstairs because it would end up being dangerous for her to go up and down them in a weakened state. She just kept telling me that if she wasn’t hungry, she didn’t want to eat. The problem is, she’s apparently never hungry! She repeated herself that if she eats when she’s hungry. I told her that I buy her groceries… I know she hasn’t been eating. Then she said something about gaining weight. I let her know that she’s been losing weight and the doctor isn’t happy about it. I finally got her to go downstairs and she is getting her supper ready now. I’ll have to pick up a roasted chicken for her when I get groceries in the morning. Maybe that will motivate her to eat something. I can’t hear what she’s saying, but I hear her whispering out there. Probably cussing me out for making her eat… lol.

11:45 AM – I’m having a hard time getting Mom to eat anything, still. Just a bit ago, I told her to take her meds and eat a bowl of cereal. She took her meds and poured a cup of chocolate milk. Nope, not good enough! I had to tell her again to eat a bowl of cereal (she’s eating a bowl of it now.)

I’ve tried getting her to drink an Ensure and she ends up pouring a cup of chocolate milk and thinks it’s the same thing because the Ensure is chocolate flavored. I’ve been leaving a note on the counter and sometimes that works. Other times it gets ignored. Sometimes it helps setting her soup stuff on the counter. That usually works, unless there’s left-overs that she put in the fridge, I don’t set that out because I don’t know when she will see it. I’m not sure what else to do with this.

In other news, we have an appointment Thursday with the lawyer to get the Deed taken care of and also to set up a POA so that I can get medical records. I’ve also let the lawyer know that my goal is to keep Mom home as long as I can, but that I would like to discuss worst case scenario of having to put her in a nursing home as early as this Spring when it warms up. If she starts wandering and getting lost, there won’t be any choice. We’ll need to know when to apply for Medicaid and when to start looking into nursing homes. Miller’s Merry Manor here in Syracuse and in Warsaw both take Medicaid and Memory patients according to their website and they both have better reviews than a lot of other nursing homes in the area. Hopefully the lawyer can help with all of this!

11:45 PM – We’re back to hallucinations again! Oh joy! I heard her earlier this evening talking about Jerry and bar tending again and hoped there wasn’t going to be a repeat of 2 weeks ago (to the day). I just had Mom come downstairs on high and went to the bathroom, then came out here and asked me if I knew anything about pythons. I tried to tell her that it’s too cold of a climate for pythons here and she replied with, “I don’t know, it’s a big one.” Out of frustration, I just told her to go to bed… get some sleep. While writing this, Mom was out by the back door and had the outside light on and was watching out the back door. I told her again to go to bed, that there were no pythons out there. She replied that, “Someone was going to come and look.” I told her that, “no, there wasn’t anyone coming. Go to bed! We’re not doing this again this week!” She went upstairs, but it remains to be seen if she will actually go to bed.