Month: March 2020

Signature Health Care called today and they are going to go ahead and take Mom on Friday, April 3rd. I know it’s not really where I want her to go, but I got to thinking, Miller’s was really quick to transfer my Grandma Myers (Mom’s Mom) out of there when she got aggressive and slapped someone, so she may be better off at Signature. I’ve got to review and digitally sign a bunch of paperwork for admissions tomorrow night when I get up and then send a check to cover her first month’s stay. Hopefully, being in that environment instead of the hospital will help her calm down and get settled in.

1:30 PM – Got a call from Miller’s Merry Manor in Warsaw. They were evaluating to see if they would fit her needs. They do have beds available, so hopefully she can go there! We will have to wait and see I guess. More info as soon as I find anything out. 🙂

10:20 PM – Just got a call from Doctor’s letting me know that Mom scratched someone. I guess she got scared and lashed out and scratched someone’s arm. She sitting calmly in the day room right now. Hopefully this doesn’t mean she’s going to be combative in a nursing home. That will make things a lot harder.

12:50 PM – I just got a call a bit ago from Signature Health Care of Bremen and it seems that as of right now, that is where it looks like Mom may be placed. I was really hoping for someplace in Warsaw, but I guess we have to take what we can get since Medicaid will end up having to pay for it. At around $7,500 per month at Signature, there’s no way to pay for it privately for more than 2 months with the money Mom has in savings. There’s mixed reviews for the place from what I’ve seen with just a short google search, so we’ll just have to hope that they take care of her.

I mentioned that I was pretty shocked that she was going to be placed so soon since I was told yesterday that discharges are on hold. From the sounds of it, they are willing to do it using extreme caution.

They are also going to be helping to get Medicaid started for her. They are going to be emailing some documentation for things I will need to gather and then we’ll go from there. This will basically be taking all of Mom’s savings until Medicaid kicks in from the sounds of it.

In other news, I’ll finally be putting the last load of her clothes in the dryer here in a few minutes. All dresses and button-up shirts are hung up and I’ve folded all of her jeans/pants and shirts/sweaters and have stacked them on her bed. The results:

Today I spent a couple of hours going through a small dresser and sorting through stuff. I’ve still got 2 drawers to go through and had to stop because my knees and back were starting to bother me. I’ve almost got the trash tote full from all the stuff I’ve thrown out, although a lot of it is clothes that were either discolored/stained or had holes in them, plus old bed sheets. I bought a couple of new sets, so didn’t need the old ones. I’ve likely thrown about 2 30 gallon trash bags worth of junk mail away that I’ve found scattered everywhere along with a couple dozen empty ziplock bags and bank statements/receipts from before our bank changed hands…. about 10 years ago.

She also has a lot of religious/inspirational books. If anyone would like them, you are welcome to them. If no one wants them, I’ll just recycle those as well.

Anyway, there’s still so much stuff to go through and since she will be placed into a nursing home, I can probably get rid of the chair that you’ve seen in the upstairs videos and eventually try to get everyone together to see if there’s anything they would like. Then, hopefully set my waterbed back up and sleep in it again.

I’ll post again once I’ve got some more news. Stay safe! 🙂

1:20 PM – I just got off the phone a few minutes ago with the social worker at the hospital Mom is at. For the most part, Mom is doing okay. Apparently she was found in her room this morning cowering behind a chair. I guess she had freaked out because she didn’t know where she was (I let Lynn know that I have found her like that one other time when she swore that there were pythons all over the place not that long ago.) Other than that, she has been very pleasant and has not been aggressive, which is something that will help with placement in a nursing home.

She has been diagnosed as having Alzheimer’s Dementia with delusional behavior by both their psychiatrist and psychologist, which doesn’t surprise me since it seemed to me that the symptoms seemed to match from the reading I’ve done in the past. She was also given a Mini-Mental State Exam (MMSE) and scored a 10 out of 30 points. The score represents a severe cognitive impairment. This basically means that she is going to need to be placed into a long-term memory care unit since I won’t be able to give her the care/supervision that she needs. They are hoping that the medication will help her, though. Hopefully it helps with the delusions somewhat so that she’s not scared of things that aren’t there.

As of right now, discharges are on hold and nursing homes are really limiting admissions due to the corona virus, so she will be staying there until this blows over. I’m still hoping they can place her at Miller’s in Warsaw so she will be close by.

Since I took this week off for vacation to wash all of Mom’s clothes, or most of them anyway, it has also given me a chance to go through a few things and throw out junk mail/magazines etc that’s been piled up around the house. I’ve almost got the recycling tote filled up already. It was just dumped Monday morning and won’t be dumped again until April 6th and I’ve barely made a dent. I’ve also filled a couple of garbage bags full of junk, but at least that can be dumped again this coming Monday morning. But, I’m almost done with the clothes! I’ve got 4-5 more loads to do and it’s done!

Lynn (the social worker there) will be calling once a week to give me updates, so I will post here next week after I hear from her. Till then, stay safe, stay well!

11:00 AM – I called the hospital and spoke to Mom for a few minutes. She kinda of sounded out of it and one of the nurses said she might still be groggy from the change and strength of the medication she is on. It doesn’t help that she’s so hard of hearing. They asked if she had hearing aids and I let her know that she got some about 30 years ago and complained that they just made everything louder, so she hasn’t been interested in getting another set, even though several people have told her that they make them with noise cancelling technology that can quiet the tinnitus that makes it so hard for her to hear. She believes that the “Miracle Ear” hearing aids were supposed to be top of the line.

She told me that the nurses were awesome there and were treating her good. She kept saying that she wasn’t having any problems there. I kept trying to get things out of her, like, how the food was, if she was making any friends etc. She did say that she was comfortable there, “More than I was at the pink house.” So yeah, the dementia has her in it’s clutches. She thinks she went from the pink house to there. It may also mean that she’s not seeing pythons or anything else there, which of course would make her more comfortable.

She did say that she was watching TV in her room when I called. She thought that she might be sharing a room with an older lady that just came in, so they evidently aren’t private rooms after all, but she said that she doesn’t have any enemies, so that’s good. I told her that I loved her and missed her and she said, “Thank you.”

Anyway, that was pretty much the extent of it, so really not much news. I will post again when I have the conference call on Thursday the 26th.

3:00 PM – I just got off the phone with the social worker at the neuro psych hospital and she said that Mom is doing well, a little sad at times and thinks that her family dropped her off there because they didn’t want anything to do with her anymore and just wanted her property. Then she asked me who Veronica was. I had to laugh as I explained that I didn’t know who she was, but that there is a Victoria (her grand daughter) and Faye Carol (her sister) that all try to take Mom’s car and wreck it. But other than that, she’s doing well. The social worker (Lynn,) had gone to look at Mom’s charts for a few minutes in between phone calls and she said that Mom was sitting with another lady doing a puzzle and that they were laughing and hugging.

I guess the diagnosis hasn’t been typed up yet, but she said that it sounds like they are going to be saying dementia with behavioral disturbance. They currently have her on Risperdal at 2.5 mg in the morning and .5 mg in the evening. We have a conference call on Thursday at 1:00, so I should know a little more then.

She has a tentative discharge date of April 3rd. She asked if I was looking for placement or if I just wanted to bring her home. I told her that it really depended on recommendations for what type of care she needs. I told her most likely placement because I think she’s going to need care that I just can’t provide, such as 24/7 supervision. With warmer weather coming up, I think it’s not a matter of if, but when she starts wandering. The possibilities of her getting lost or even hit by a car while crossing the street are very real, so I need to take her safety into consideration. She agreed with that wholeheartedly. I also suggested that her being in a setting where she’s around other REAL people to where she has more of a social surrounding might also be really beneficial. I guess I’m just feeling that keeping her here is seeming more selfish to me than having her where she’s going to get the kind of care she really needs. I’ll post more after the conference call Thursday.

1:30 AM – She continued on for a bit. As I said, she came down to use the bathroom and I heard her talking in there. When she came out, she stood in the kitchen and talked some more (about how this is her house etc.) She then went upstairs and when she got up to the landing, started talking some more. If I had been trying to sleep, it definitely would have woken me up. Finally, at 1:15, she went back into her bedroom, closed the door and turned off the light. I just checked on the camera and by turning the volume up really really loud, I was able to hear that she’s still talking. At that time it was about how she bought the house a long time ago and that she didn’t mind someone staying here.. I will stay up for a little while longer and keep tabs on her to see if she goes back to sleep.

10:30 AM – After this video, I went upstairs to get her going with her shower and get her packed. I was up front about where she was going and why. I told her that they were going to help determine if she has Alzheimer’s or not. She said she thinks not, but I told her they would figure it out and how best to help her. Ashley ,in referrals for this hospital, told me that with Dementia patients, it could be 2 weeks or maybe even longer, so I let Mom now that she might be up there for a few weeks, but everything would be provided except for the clothes, sorta like a hotel stay. She’s not showing any signs of fear or nervousness at this point…. it’s just me going through that… lol. Anyway, I was told that our arrival time should be between 1:00 and 1:30 PM, so we’ll head out at about 12:45. She hasn’t had her breakfast yet, so I’ll go ahead and get her going with that since I don’t know when her next meal up there will be, most likely supper. Wish us luck and hope that Mom does okay up there. 🙂

Shannon signing off until updates are received from the hospital.

3:23 PM – Well, Mom went in without any problems. The nurse that came out to take Mom back into her room was really nice (everyone there was) and Mom took to her right away. She even grabbed the nurses arm to be escorted back. No bye or anything, just followed her back. I was checking her in and chatting with the receptionist for over an hour, lots of paperwork to sign. I told them that I likely wouldn’t call until I heard from them so that it wouldn’t disturb her getting used to the place. I guess there will be a conference call between several of the doctors there and myself to discuss initial findings and plans going forward in a few days, so I’ll post info here when that happens. Eventually, the nurse that took Mom back came out and let me know that Mom had told her that she hears voices, none of them dangerous sounding, but at least she admitted it so they have an idea of where to start. I wasn’t asked for the link to the blog, but will bring it up during the conference call when that happens. I think they really should see it, unless it goes on there for them. We shall see, but until then, I’m signing off for now and going to make some spaghetti!

9:30 AM – Mom slept through the night and just a bit ago, she motioned for me to come upstairs where she told me where she slept and where my clothes were and mentioned that I sleep on the couch downstairs. I agreed and told her that once she moves into a nursing home, I will end up putting my waterbed back upstairs. The nursing home triggered a long discussion about her thinking she doesn’t need to be in a nursing home. She accused me of stealing her house so I could put her in a nursing home. I reminded her that it’s not stealing since she willingly signed it over as was planned when we moved into the house together back in 2007 and that I am paying it off once I deposit the check and it clears. She asked with an attitude: “Well how are you going to get me out of here?” I told her, “If you won’t go willingly, then by ambulance if I have to.” Anyway, I have video of this exchange, but I’m not going to post it because to hear her, you’ll have to turn your volume up and when I talk, it would blow your speakers since I have to speak up loud enough for her to hear me… lol.

I’ve been in touch with our lawyer this morning and she advised me that paying off the house isn’t going to cause any problems. I let her know what’s going on with Mom and asked if she would want to do the Medicaid application or if I should do it through the nursing home. She suggested the nursing home, since it wouldn’t cost extra (that made me chuckle) but that she would step in to help if we had any problems. I am now going to email the Admissions Director for Miller’s Merry Manor here in town to let her know what’s going on and see if she feels like we can try the non-locked facility they have or if I should get in touch with Warsaw since they have a locked facility. I’ll keep you posted on developments and probably videos since I imagine this is going to trigger a few.

11:55 AM – She started talking in the kitchen, something about the Echo it sounded like, but unfortunately, she wasn’t moving at the time so it didn’t trigger the motion sensor on the camera and it wasn’t recorded. It was loud enough that it would have woken me up if I were sleeping. Then, just a minute ago, she came out here and asked if I was still working or if I was going home. Being confused, I asked her what she was talking about and she said that her Echo was sitting out there and needed updating. Yeah, I don’t know either.. lol. It seemed like she didn’t realize that either one of us lived here and she thought we were selling the house or something. It was a pretty confusing exchange.

1:00 PM – She’s all set to go to the psych hospital for her evaluation as soon as a bed opens up. They are expecting one to open by tomorrow. This will be at their Bremen hospital. I think it’s for 7 days, but I’m not entirely sure. They had beds open in other places, but they were geared more towards younger people it seems, so I told them that I’d wait it out since she might be more comfortable with older people. I’m really nervous about this and am already feeling like the world’s worst son for having to do it, but I also realize that I just can’t go on with it and am trying to be strong.

10:25 PM – The video above is the last one captured where she says anything. She eventually gets up, goes downstairs to use the bathroom and goes into her room at 9:08 PM. I just checked the camera and her bedroom light is off, so she is in bed now.

2:15 PM – I got woken up early….. again! She was in the kitchen getting some soup ready and started up with the “This is my house. I bought it when the kids were little….” She was just off camera so it didn’t trigger a recording. I guess I’ll start going through the day’s videos.

4:25 PM – OK, I’m caught up on the clips so far. She has been quiet, at least upstairs, since the last video, except where she woke me up talking in the kitchen. There was a bunch of finger pointing for a while and she when downstairs 3 times, but she hasn’t said anything in any of the clips. As a side note: I found a plug at Amazon that is supposed to connect to wifi where I should be able to control from anywhere from my phone. I’m going to order that and plug her TV into it so I can turn it off when she leaves it on. Here’s a link if you’re curious: https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B08331YTDD/ref=ox_sc_act_title_1?smid=ASTOKKCI5ZBKL&psc=1

6:35 PM – At this point, I’m throwing in the towel. I called Goshen Hospital to make sure the proper procedure for getting her evaluated and into a nursing home would be by taking her to the ER. They confirmed that it was, so I told Mom that we have an appointment at the Hospital at about 7:00 PM, so she heated up some leftovers and is eating that and we are heading up there. I’ve got the power of attorney paperwork with me and will use that if I need to. With being woken up way too early this week, the slamming door and now her going on about Veronica stealing her car and wrecking it, I just can’t deal with it anymore. Wish me luck!

9:00 PM – The Dr. at the hospital suggested trying a medicine called Risperdal ( https://www.drugs.com/risperdal.html ). He said he had the same experience with his Dad, who was a Marine and was pretty much a real asshat from the sound of it. He said that one day he was pushing him in a wheel chair and his Dad said, “Look at the pretty flowers.” It was a complete 180 degrees. Based on what I told him was going on tonight, he thought she would be a perfect candidate for that. He had also called Oaklawn, which does the evaluations at the hospital, and they agreed with the Dr. So, she got one at the hospital and sent a prescription to CVS for me to pick up tomorrow. They also gave me a number to call tomorrow for “Dr’s Neuro Psych Hospital” to follow up with. They have a website at https://www.neuropsychiatrichospitals.net/ if you’re interested in finding out what it’s about. So, we’ll find out more tomorrow where to go from here. I have officially reached the end of my rope, so either drastic changes are going to have to be made through medicine, or she’s going to be moved into a long-term care facility. The process has now been started, we just have to wait to see where that process goes.